Counting the stars

As most of you know... Chin Aun has gone to The Netherlands for some business training and left me here to rot all by myself. FOR TWO WEEKS! Two WHOLE weeks!! Isn't that awful!? I mean, when he went to New Zealand, he only went for a week or so and that wasn't so bad cos I was back in my home sweet home and I didn't miss him so much. But 2 weeks! Someone's gonna get smacked when he gets back...

Anyways, with him not being around, I'm alone most of the times... with nothing much to do. When I have to go to work, it's still OK cos I'd be busy with work stuff. But on Monday, I caught some bug and fell ill. So I got half of Monday off (on MC) and MC for today as well. Bah! And so with nothing to do except fall in and out of sleep and with plenty of time in my hands, I got to thinking. Yup... no wonder there's a proverb that says "An Idle Mind Is The Devil's Workshop". BUT!!! I didn't think of much devillish things... Quite the contrary...

I got to thinking how lucky I was...

Sure, most of the time I'm just complaining. Complaining that I have just sprouted a round of zits that only keeps getting bigger. Complaining about loser bands like Westlife (even after posting this, I'll still think Westlife is lame, so there really isn't anything they or anyone can do to change my mind). Complaining about not having enough money. Complaining about getting fatter. And the list goes on...

And when I was idle, falling in and out of sleep / consciousness... I felt blessed. Because I know what it feels like to love and be loved in return.

Counting my blessings...

#1. Chin Aun

Chin Aun and I during dinner at some place...

I know I complain about him... A LOT. But that's just talk (sometimes anyways...)... I miss him so much when he's not here. I think of the times he just gives in when we argue. How he nags me when I get off work late and pick him up from work late but ultimately laughs with me anyway. How he lets me use his car and sometimes have to walk home from work. When he wakes up early on Sunday just to cook breakfast (that can be rather questionable, taste-wise, but it's the thought that counts). The foot massage every night. That he pinned a picture I printed of a cartoon cow wearing a cape with the caption "Jimmy the Justice Fighter" on his notice board. It's just these little things that makes me want no one else but him because I know now that there is no one else out there who can be as wonderful as he is. Sure, we have our down-times... But if there aren't any down-times, where do the up-times come from right? :) I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world...

#2. My Family

I know this photo is funny :) it's my dad, mom and aunt sending me off when I take the bus from Penang to KL (they send me off like this every single time! *grins*)

My sis and Daniel, taken during my bday some years ago

My parents and my aunt are back in Penang and the only family I have here is my sis and Daniel. Near or far, at least I know that they're always thinking about me, worrying about me and taking extra measures to make sure that I don't feel alone when Chin Aun is not around by taking me out to dinner, inviting me on outings, etc. And how my dad texts me and ALWAYS ends his messages with the template "all the best. God bless" and makes us all laugh.

#3. My Friends

By friends... I generally mean Melissa and Zeeks.

Mel and I in her car at night (which explains the lighting)

I was so distressed that day, feeling all alone that I posted a message on pacmee. And almost immediately, Mel texted to ask how I was. When I told her that I was fine, and just feeling lonely, she immediately called. She's a couple of hundred of kilometres away and yet she made me feel so good, so loved... after her call. It only goes to show that a friend's love can be felt, whatever the distance. She's been with me through everything... through the times when I thought no one was with me. I remember EVERY SINGLE EVENT (I may find it hard to forget times when I have been wronged by people I called friends but I also remember everything that Mel went through with me). I don't open up very much to people, especially moving here to PJ and crossing paths with so many awful people (miserable excuses for humans) who are only nice to you because they have an ulterior motive. But Mel is someone who I can tell my deepest darkest secrets to because I know she'll never judge me and she'll love me irregardless of whatever awful thing I've done.

Zeeks and I during my sister's wedding

And I know he'll never admit it, but Zeeks have been keeping me company as much as he can. Took me out to lunch when he came out to KL for Chicago and meeting up with me this week again when he's here for his training. It really gives me something to look forward to when I'm all alone here. And it's not just this time... there was once when I was going through a hard time, only recently, that he bought a latte and some cookies from Starbucks over to my place - his way of telling me that he's there and he cares.

I love them both so much, although I'd probably never admit this to Zeek's face (even if he held a cocked gun to my head). And it kills me that they are both not here with me. We've been through the best and worst of times. I've known Mel since we were 7 and Zeeks when we were 16 :) And these are the two friends that I know who have NEVER said anything bad about me, who've stood by me whatever the storm I was stuck in. And I've had my fair share of 2-faced friends and friends who make me choose, friends who are only there when they need you but are never around when you need them... But these two, the take me as I am, flaws and all :) And they are there for me, when I'm happy or sad or when I'm feeling all alone.

Sometimes, it's just these simple things, or rather, people, that make life worth living...

I know that this post is rather dry, rather straight to the point. There's nothing humourous, nothing sarcastic about it. No frills and no icing on the cake. But that is the way it is with them. Nothing superficial :) because I love them.